The split society

Hang your prejudices before you begin guessing my political affiliation; at least hang on, till you are done with this blog. This is neither my intolerant jibe against the establishments nor my agonizing grumble against a few in the civil society. This is just a satirical recollection of how divided the world appeared, during the lockdown caused by COVID-19, a bio terrorist that muted the planet. This is just an attempt to verbalize a stoical madness, co-created by two extreme school of thoughts; the left and the right. The haves and the have nots.  

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Soon after the International Happiness day, we announced the lock down and stranded countless people, overnight. Later, we marked the World Poetry day by forcing destitute people to sing anthems and hymns on empty stomachs. On International Labor Day, we wished laborers that had no work in the hand. From remembrance of the victims of slavery to International Day of Conscience, we made mockeries of people that were angry and hungry. A few days into lockdown, capitalists began worrying about wealth erosion. Marketers expressed their deepest concerns over people downsizing their possessions. Industrialists talked about good and bad costs of the disease. Pharmacists debated over the vaccine wars. Innovators designed beds that converted into coffins, so patients who died in quarantined hospitals can have a respectful immolation. Astrologers predicted everything, except life. Statisticians debated the price of lives. Economists debated the importance of livelihood over life.

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As the pandemic increased its spread, I began believing that sensibility, seasonality and immunity will be three major contributors to fight the transmission. I was wrong; I soon realized that the country also needed oodles of stupidity that many began showering, without solicitation. Premise was that, treat people as morons, tell some un-empirical narratives, provoke people’s patriotism, challenge their ideals and of course scare them that they will be sent to the neighboring country, if they appear thinking linear. Thus, there were huge attempts to turn us into bunch of idiots in the name of patriotism, so we handle the crisis better by becoming followers, dreamers, optimists and believers. The connection between corona virus and patriotism was so incompatible and inexplicable. Yet, we bought it.  Acting without a reason – speaking without wisdom after all is a well-preserved legacy, that got us where we are today.

Honestly, I have lost the count of all the dumb crusaders who put our country into a hibernate state, but the contribution from a few cannot be overlooked. First in the list are those thousands of brain dead news anchors from regional TV channels who expressed their synthetic solidarity with true strugglers who did everything to slay the virus and save our lives and homes. The media houses went about hiring idle specialists from the entertainment industry - mostly the graphic designers, screen writers, art directors and very importantly sound technicians. Such an army of idiots of course was needed to turn anchors into theoreticians, prophets and of course, seasoned epidemiologists. Given that the daily sops were off the air, the specialists came together to produce motley soap summaries, by amplifying the situation as though we will be destroyed in weeks. Ironically, less heart attack cases were reported during the lock-down, because the audience that were subjected to senseless sermons, done up with intentionally terrible music and crackling sound effects, automatically unclogged the blocked arteries. It was great to know that we were the only country where Corona had its own gender as well as a caste, since newsrooms aired insane story lines under the title of “COVID 19: Is the virus male or fem ale” and screamed over Corona’s religious lineage, by conducting some astonishingly frivolous debates. At one point of time, we were assured that it is OK to have a life, full of bullshit.

The second in the list were the patriots of the new age – the crusaders of nationalism who took all the governmental inputs dutifully and slaughtered the original spirit, stupidly. To mark the country's fight against the virus and to express our gratitude to the front-line professionals, when we were asked initially to come out of our houses to clap and ring bells, we did it with great pride. Indeed, some overenthusiastic patriots who took to the streets en masse while clanging metal vessels and blowing conch shells, ended up invoking and possessing mystical spirit that went beyond cognitive psychology. That’s when “Go Corona Go” as an alternate anthem was born to reunite the human spirit. It did not stop here. Next day, Whats App university scholars joined the movement and shared a circular as to how NASA’s office in Nagpur detected the cosmic level sound by its advanced gravitational-wave detectors. I too googled electromagnetic spectrum and watched some videos on photon energy and did not discover anything except a fact that studying science at this age is like drinking two large whiskeys in the day time; you are simply out of mind.  

In a rare moment of democracy, all the intolerant voices across the spectrum operated with the spirit of appreciation and collaboration. At the core of their functioning, even the hardcore haters silenced their squabble and sweetened their bitter rancor. This was the only day that the nation did not want to know anything as ruling and opposition parties operated with striking similarities; both were clueless. And then came a flashlight mob after 15 days. Of course, the new age loyalists were at it again. My wife wanted to light 130 candles together as someone convinced her to join a prophetic campaign to increase country’s temperature by 9 degrees to kill Corona, at 9.09 pm. Unfortunately, the shop we went to, could only give us 4 leftover candles of which one was broken. “You are just 10 minutes late. Someone came in a multi axle truck and took away all the candles’ stock. Looks like he was in a hurry. He forgot to buy a container full of match boxes that he would need to light them up” said the shop keeper. From numerology to good and bad religion, from light & heat phenomenon to radiation emitted by the chromosphere, new fascinating narratives gripped the entire nation again, just a few hours before the light show. As expected, people turned off lights in their homes and lit up lamps and candles to demonstrate their collective resolve to fight with the virus. Holy hymns, devotional songs, national anthems filled the air, similar to the previous drive. Of course, most popular ‘Go Corona Go’ was sung with commanding chorus, yet again.

Irked with two sensational tests of sound and light, the opposition parties took no time to realize that they are losing their existential significance, faster than their stored booze. To stay relevant, substantial irrelevant events began taking place. Sporadic press meets were convened. Awkward political reactions were shared. Some difficult to understand interviews with noble laureates, healthcare specialists, progressive industrialists and elite economists were suddenly aired to already puzzled nation. Egalitarians and real saviors of constitution also emerged from nowhere to condemn the new democratic norms. The liberal elites woke up to protect the mankind against the ogre of a dominant fundamentalists. Overnight, the political tone has changed, ridiculing the ruling government for inflicting democratic dictatorships. Social media jabs against the establishment dramatically increased. I began wondering, why some of these leftists, atheists and secularists are so permanently paralyzed? How and from where they borrow so much of negativity? They must be a piece of art; otherwise how can one poop through their head and claim to keep it clean?

By the way, there was another class dominated by dumb jackasses led by some disoriented celebrities that were completely numb to the chaos, the country was witnessing. Since this class cannot be classified into any sane categories, for reference purpose let me call them a “kidney class.” Since their brains were dysfunctional, this class used their kidneys to think; hence the name. While the unwaged, dehydrated and malnourished migrant workers attempted long journeys on foot and marched on high ways just to be at their homes, the kidney class treating the lock-down as a vacation got busy tagging people with some spicy hashtags on social networks and randomly posted their bedroom moments - served with spice. While the pained population nursed their bleeding toes and dressed their bruised legs, the kidney class posted fam-jam pics and shared ROFL clips from their gyms.  Along with the stories of poor families crammed into tight spaces, media also was courteous enough to cover cookery shows of celebrities who whipped lemon crème to treat the electrolyte imbalance. When stranded societies dealt with an abandonment, the kidney class painted daffodils on canvas in a small garage of their sprawling mansions. Rohatgi and Rangoli’s tweeted ceaselessly until their overpowering thoughts, broke the internet. Meera continued posting mushy pictures of her husband’s kits, Swara posted her complicated relation with her pets. Sonam posted freckle free selfies to show off her zit and of course Poonam did what she is only best at. While a few rich boys from the kidney class caught up with their lost sleep as they stayed late playing Fortnite Battle Royale, miserable migrants being tired of long walk, slept on the railway tracks and got slayed, silently. While troubled men wheeled their pregnant wives and sleepy kids using their torn trolley bags, the kidney class booked best drag motorcycles for their kids to race over the black asphalt. Ah...richness and recklessness often zoom together. A toughest lock-down besides exposing a pathetic gulf in the society, brought millions of asymptomatic infections in the hollow class, to the fore. The only solace was that, pulmonologists were freed to treat the genuine cases, while psychiatrists were spared, to deal with this class.

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Interestingly enough, the last in the list were us; the great “working from home warriors”.

To begin with, people just did not know how to deal with the paid holiday, for months. So, for the first few days we did everything except productive working. From buying booze to hoarding the groceries from queuing up to buy masks in loads to breaking the ques to amass pregnancy kits, we bought, as though we only have money and the family.

A few days into lock-down, we slowly regained the lost rhythm, so much so that - we soon began claiming that we are more productive while working from home. Lock down flummoxed us, turning us into brazen schmucks. From running #AloneTogether campaigns to hosting digital beer parties, the dull team meetings soon began losing the steam. Dreadfully stretched silence and awkwardly muted faces, often made us check - whether the Wi-Fi dropped its speed or stopped working. Finding ways to talk to keep up an artificial camaraderie, was such a discovery. Netflix’ adding new 16M subscribers and seeing $100 jump in their stock price within 3 months, proved that we have improved our multitasking abilities by being on sites that begged our attention, even while we sat through those grueling Zoom meetings. A few of us pursued Ph.D. in pandemics from WhatsApp University, during the lockdown. From floating conspiracy theories to distributing the doctored documents, from forwarding controversial videos to sharing quick cures for COVID, we kept the community amazed on our mindlessness. A few men who were lazy enough to get out of bed, carried out their meetings from the bed in pajamas and amazed themselves that they are still creative on the bed. Convinced with our burn out, some of the companies announced an extended holiday in support of their staff. The gesture was like a complex sum from the integral calculus book; many did not understand the math behind it.

For a change, when the mythical classes were busy clashing as titans to attain supreme idiocy, there was one last set of society that was operating with an unparalleled depths and dimensions of humanity at a different level. A police constable donating his one month salary to the relief funds, a small merchant selling his agricultural fields to feed the poor, an elderly widow donating her meager pension to the authorities, the out-of-work cooks packing meals for jobless workers, kids breaking their piggy banks to buy travel tickets for destitute workers, an old woman blocking a passing police vehicle just to give a small amount of cash and thousands of such random acts of kindness were silently upholding a truth that anyone can make a difference in this unkind world. The poorest mass and a distressed class trapped in a gravest chasm was silently witnessing a humanity overflow, while many were busy with abysmal acts of awkwardness.

When history is rewritten and we wish to amend a few aching experiences, will we as a failed system and a society admit to our genuine errors and seek forgiveness from the masses that we let down? When the planet begins returning the favors that it always did, are we sure that we don’t mistreat her and take her granted, ever again? When we forget the pain of the past, do we again assume and behave like the invincible, that we never were and start scraping the healed wounds of the mother earth? Would we soon stop ill treating poor people for all the blunders that rich people have committed, including inflicting this virus on them?  When politics begins again, would politicians distribute free grains and nurse the mortal pains or simply resume the tokenism and improve their electoral gains?

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The lock down did many things to me.

It taught me to socially distance people, especially the ones who have an incurable infection; hypocrisy. The most educated men displaying neo-liberal symbolic efforts from their manicured balconies taught me that there is no difference between the ones that cannot think and ones that do not think. I wish the list of banned non-essentials had some more people in it, especially the ones that I wrote about, right in the beginning.

2020 belonged to the nature; none else. No matter how hard, people argue that this was nature’s way of reclaiming the earth, I learnt that this was natures’ way of telling us to slow down and begin to live a cleaner and saner life by re-questioning everything that we need in life. It exposed a delicate balance between basic needs and wants and reminded me a timeless classic that said “the world is too much with us; late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers”

Not that I was unkind, but I learnt to treat kindness as a basic obligation for a respectful coexistence and fill life with small acts of kindness without seeking validations from others. It made me appreciate a somber and slow life in a locked down country yet unlocked my heart towards polemic and quick deaths that people died, being lonely in their hospital wards. It rendered me a rhythm of being alive. It made me not to miss an opportunity to savor gratitude of the mother earth and thank her for not ending my lease agreement and keeping a few of us alive.

Being alive is a biggest relief. Now I know why!