One life to live..

Nandini…

My cousin Sunita, has had a disastrous birthday of her life as she lost her husband Prakash a week before she turned 43. Hale and hearty man, who had no single serious health issues for 46 years of his life, was advised bed rest because of Typhoid in the first week of September. Within 3 days, jaundice compounded his condition and he was then admitted to the hospital. What happened in the remaining 3 days was simply ridiculous; he was diagnosed with septicemia and died of multi organ failure. The guy who tweeted on Sep 5 was gone on Sep 9 - elucidating a fact that few things in life can happen just with a snap of a finger, including death.

Prakash was an ambitious politician but a virtuous husband, a loving father – more importantly a finest friend. He loved life and lived every bit of it till the last moment.

Till he was given a sedative before he was put on the ventilator, he shouted at the attending nurse ‘ .. you got me here to kill me....isn’t it...’

Poor guy, never realized that he would be right in what he said, in the next 6 hours.

Destiny sometimes cherry picks people and stall their play.

Prakash is an irreversible story today; while we mourn his untimely death, we celebrate the life that he lived.

But I’m more saddened about Sunita.

An amusingly pretty woman who has been known for her exuberance, attire and jewelries would merely be an inert warm body in the family occasions of the near future.

She is brave but she is ignorant.

She knows the assets Prakash owned, money he made and the loans he borrowed.

She would soon set the house in order.

But what she doesn’t know is the life she will have to live without Prakash around and that I’m sure, would scare and haunt her for quite some time.

One of the hardest things that I never thought I would do to Sunita one day has been write a condolence message; Sunita.. may god bless and comfort you at this bad time of your life and help you move from grief to reality of life.

***

4 days before this incident, Vinay (Sunita’s brother- my cousin obviously ) and I went to Belgaum Club for a drink.

An ophthalmologist by profession and an optimist by design, Vinay seemed profoundly pensive, that night. I was rather pleasantly surprised to meet a realist in him who was on a single mission to put expiry date on every objects that existed in this universe. 

‘…what if you are not there to enjoy your earnings..’ he started abruptly.

‘..what if you set up an alarm to wake up next morning and that morning never comes..? ‘ he continued, teasingly.

‘I won’t regret…’ I said, firmly.

‘I would have a joy of living a gratifying life for myself and securing a good life to my wife and my children who would remain thankful to me for what I have done for them....’ I concluded.

‘Ummmm.. you think you would be remembered for that?’

Vinay looked deep into my eyes and asked. This time, even the wry smile was missing.

‘I don’t know.. I don’t care.. ’ I said laughingly.

‘Something happened this morning and you should know it.. ’ he brought a logic in the conversation, without an effort.

Vinay continued.. ‘this morning when my father was praying before his late parents’ photographs, I asked my daughter if she ever knew those people in the photographs who she watched her grandpa offering prayers, everyday. And guess what happened.. my daughter said precisely what you said just now. I don’t know.. I don’t care..’

Vinay picked up the glass and went for a big gulp.

There was a grim silence and I could track my own loud sigh, thinning through the fierce wind that brought along a round of swift rains on the thirsty lawns of the club.

We turned to the rains, closed our eyes, and experienced the rains for a while in silence.

‘None will remember you Raja.. none will keep in mind that you  preferred buying an used car and used those savings to  pay  your son’s fees. Your son may, but don’t expect his son to even bother about you who would eventually inherit all your money as the sole legal heir. Your life is meant for you - not for your grandson who does not exist, today. Here is an occasion.. do not waste it by idealizing it.”  

Vinay looked, thoroughly animated.

I said, ‘ummm..  you have a point but I partially agree with it. I know where you are coming from. I know I have made some compromises. That said, I enjoyed my life and continue to do so ...but by being little responsible.’ 
My conditional agreement did not convince him.

He looked at me and said ‘ you have one life to live.. go find out as to what do you want to do with it before you lose it..’

A brat who loved fast cars, expensive watches and world’s finest scotches, for a moment seemed like a Monk who sold his Ferrari.

I nodded in unison and concluded that night, with 3 large!

Simple looking encounters some time would leave a profound influence over us; this evening being one of those, would be remembered for a very long time.

***

There is no sufficient evidence that, in life - idealists fail and realists succeed. Or vis-à-vis.

Life is a result of the paths we chose, the decisions we make.

Our experiences and perceptions often cause illusions, assigning a new meaning to life that has merely a situational significance. Deducing a new sense to life based on its temporary appearance could be incorrect. Equally incorrect way of living it, could be assuming life as though everything is alright with it.

Life gives us two options.

One, live it as if it would be over tomorrow.

Two, live it with a hope that life is not ending tomorrow.

In the first case, the experience can be risky.

In the second case, one presupposes an extension of life, saves and spends for his pleasure as well as for others.

I belong to the second category, without an iota of a doubt.

At this stage of my life I only realize one thing. I’m living a good life; best is yet to come.

If it doesn’t, I won’t die of regret, anyways.

Reminding myself that I’m still alive and living it with an unfounded reassurance that there is a little more time left over for me as well as for others, makes me relook at people and things with a certain degree of importance.

Nandini… amidst the confusion between ideal and real, my pursuit with you however remains unclassified.